A Thank-you Letter to My Sister-in-Law, My Surrogate

After many years of trying to have a baby, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in November 2012. My husband and I went through a successful round of In Vitro Fertilization to freeze our embryos before I underwent chemo and radiation to knock out the cancer. After my last treatment in June of 2013, we were unfortunately left knowing that I would never be able to carry a child. My brother’s beautiful wife, Jordan – my sister-in-law and Angel on Earth – came to us and offered to carry our baby. Through many happy tears, we accepted.

While I typically remain fairly private in my own life, the recognition Jordan needs for her generosity and selflessness simply cannot go unnoticed.  Here is my thank-you letter to her.


February 10, 2015

Dear Jordan,

Thank you. Thank you for turning years of hardships into fleeting memories. Your kindness has cast a shadow over unfortunate times I swore would stay with me forever. Thank you for turning adversities into affirmations of generosity in the human spirit.

Everything comes full circle, and I can only imagine how beautiful that 360th degree is going to be for you. Not only are you giving life, but you’ve given me back my positive outlook on life. Because of you, I feel full again. I feel full of happiness, and once again full of the belief that a life with children is possible. The level of gratitude I have for you is immeasurable.

Your consistency of optimism through the six months of legal struggles to make this pregnancy happen was awe-inspiring and kept me on the right track. You never drifted. You never changed your mind. You pushed through with your fists in the air, a smile on your face, and ringside pep talks that made me stand back up and fight – even when I felt the weakest. You always believed in us as a team, and you always believed in this baby.

I can and will try to express my gratitude in words and gifts, but it won’t be enough.  I could send it to you in the form of a million sunflowers, but they wouldn’t be bright enough. I could roll out a red carpet every time you take a step forward, but it wouldn’t be long enough.  I could climb the tallest mountain and shout my gratitude from there, but it wouldn’t be loud enough. So, how do I properly thank you? I don’t think I can. I’m going to leave this in the hands of God because I know He has a gift for you that is bigger than anything I could ever tie a bow around.

In just a couple months, surrounded by so much love, this little girl is finally going to make her appearance. I can’t help but imagine what she’ll look like. I hope she has my curly hair and dimples and Ryan’s perfect skin and nose.  And if we’re lucky, Jordan, one of your traits will slip through the ropes of our DNA, and she’ll grow up with your giving heart.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I love you.


6 comments on “A Thank-you Letter to My Sister-in-Law, My Surrogate

  1. Marie Rogers says:

    This is very moving. It took courage to share such an intimate experience. Thank you for writing about it.


  2. pcbanda says:

    Wow…Thank you for sharing a private moment…I have been curious about surrogacy and the dedication necessary to go through with it as the surrogate. You reminded me of the battles on the other side…Well done to Jordan and may your little girl always feel loved.


  3. […] You wrote a moving and personal letter to your sister-in-law on your blog. Why thank her for this very private gift in such a public […]


  4. […] didn’t go through your typical nine months of pregnancy (you can read about that here), so before we had our baby, I’d had a lot of time over the years to figure out what I wanted to […]


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